Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence


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Men also suffer from domestic abuse | Toronto Sun

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Very well written reply, freakonomics. I really appreciate you taking the time to research the issue and link to articles backing up your claim.

Men 101: Domestic Violence Towards Men

As the spouse of someone who works to educate the public on all the aspects of domestic violence and sexual assault, it's nice to see such a thorough, brief summarization of the situation. Thank you for having an open discussion about this topic - which is often brushed over or ignored completely. Until this is treated as a community problem, not an issue to be dealt with in private, victims will continue to suffer - regardless of gender, sexual orientation, economic status, immigration status, etc.

I've been there.

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My wife was suffering from a terrible post-partum depression and she attempted to physically hurt me many times, in addition to daily verbal abuse. I'm bigger and stronger than her, but how do you deal with a person that tries to punch or kick you like a madman, and you know that if she gets a smallest bruise herself, she would probably file domestic abuse charges. All I could do is to block the blows, or grab and hold her until she calms down.


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I never called the cops - I was afraid that they would never belive me, especially if my wife claims that I'm the abuser and she threatened that she would. I probably should have ended the marriage, but I didn't want to see my child every other weekend. I'm sure that California family court in its infinite wisdom would have granted my wife near full custody, even despite her attempts to hurt our child I had to physically restrain her several times. Fortunately, eventually I convinced her to talk to a shrink.

Therapy and medication have helped her a lot and things are MUCH better now.


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  8. So I'm wondering, how many husbands are afraid to call the cops, because they are afraid that nobody would believe them? Massive depressions, many days I had to either leave work early or not go at all because she refused to get out of bed. I pulled her out of the bathtub one night after she took too many pills and almost drowned. And she would get screaming angry at me for the slightest thing. And one particularly bad night when I asked if she wanted to go to the hospital she said "I've you put me in the hospital I'll I tell them that you touched our daughter sexually" to which I responded "But I've never!

    I would never! Knowing that at her whim I could not only be arrested for something I didn't do, but loose access to my child. I stayed despite desperately wanting to leave after consulting with multiple lawyers who all basically told me to assume I would be lucky to get every other weekend with my daughter. Been there, and MooCow I've been in a similar situation myself and know exactly how you feel. A man has little recourse to assistance, because it will more than likely backfire and make things much worst.

    I would hazard a guess that the incidence of non-reporting is a lot higher among men. So, the question becomes, what good are the statistics when a whole lot of stuff goes unreported and unadmitted to by anyone? And, if you draw conclusions from incorrect data, your conclusions can only be wrong. I have known 5 men arrested for domestic violence. The first was beaten with an iron and arrested when the police arrived.

    The judge released him and issued an warrent for his wife that morning, the second was arrested by base police when his wife through a toaster at his head and when it bounced off him it hit her in the shoulder. He spent 6 mos. Third, a fellow sailor was arguing with his wife when base police arrived, she was hitting him with an aluuminum frying pan to try and prevent him from opening the door for them.

    When he finaly got the door open she claimed she was defending herself and he was arrested. It took three months for him to get custody of his daughter and have his wife properly charged. The fourth was an alcoholic who, in response to being called a drunk by his wife called her a cunt. She beat him unconsious with a rum bottle then called the police. When they arrived she showed them her badge and had him arrested. A year later they reconciled but to the best of my knowledge he is still a level 5 sex offender for using sexual language during the altercation.

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    The fifth kicked in the door to his girlfriend's appartment and is just scum. None of those men excluding the scum reported the emotional and physical abuse they had experienced at the hands of the women in there lives until after they were charged. The standard narrative must be rejected until more analysis and indepth study is given to the issue. I know for a fact we are not. I think what you say is generally true, but I doubt that sexual violence, such as rape, is remotely as prevalent for Female on Male than the opposite.

    That isn't trying to be apologist, but I simply doubt it happens very often.

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    Battered Men – The Hidden Side of Abuse

    On the other hand, if we are talking about psychological, verbal or emotional violence or abuse, I have a feeling it would probably be a fairly even split between male and female. Reporting is a huge issue too, how do you classify a "victim? One of the biggest things is that men simply don't have access to not only the support networks that women have, but the general institutions such as police and the legal system.

    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence
    Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence Abused Men: The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

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